thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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