Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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