She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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