I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
