this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
