suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
