We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
