There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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