Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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