Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
