There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
