Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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