dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
