You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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