Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
