Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
