dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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