Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Never joke about your clitoris.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
