At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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