i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
