i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
