Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
