I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
