I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry about my life...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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