My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
