We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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