There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think my moral compass just broke
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
