I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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