I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
