No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
