after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
