just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
