So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
