I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it hurts more in the daytime
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
