Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
