butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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