dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
