I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
