i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I love having hate sex.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
