Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
