Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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