You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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