I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
