I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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