You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
