The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
