real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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