Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
