Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
