HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
