Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
