im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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