I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
