You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
