Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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