dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
