oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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