rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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