: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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