i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
