she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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