So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nicole vs. Life
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She announced her abortion via fbk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
